From Dragonfly: Survival of the Fittest

Being in prison has a brand new meaning to me of "survival of the fittest" - a good ole Darwinian explanation of how people and animals survive in a difficult world. I'm trying to gather the evidence of what makes someone "fit" for life at Carswell. I have only come up with a couple answers so far, but I thought I would share them.
1) A person must have strong self-esteem. I can honestly say that most of the women I come across here do not have that strong sense of who they are and the self-esteem to go along with it. They "act" strong, but they do not express themselves to be strong. They need to have the comfort of others to help them through this, rather than a confidence in themselves. They survive, but their actions to survive often include going against the rules.
2) A person must have good manners. Once again, many people I come across do not show themselves to have many manners. I often here people telling others what to do, without a single "please" or "thank you." I hear responses to the C.O.'s often with swears, rather than just acceptance that they got caught doing something wrong. I see people accidentally bump each other, without an "I'm sorry" or "excuse me." These issues bring people on edge of their aggression and fights break out. A little respect could go a long way, even if you do not feel it is always deserved.
3) A person must be able to sleep with sound and light. There is no true darkness and no true silence in prison. Period.
4) A person must stay connected with the outside world. There are way too many inmates who receive very few, if any, connections from the outside world (on email, phone, or snail mail). They see their entire existence as within the gates of the prison. They are unable to even imagine life beyond their daily existence here, especially if they've been inside for a long time. I recently met a woman who is going home in 6 months after 24 years in prison. She has never used a cellular phone. She has never used a debit card, has never seen a hybrid car, and never driven on a five lane highway. She says that her first trip outside of prison will be to see her first Wal-Mart.
5) A person must accept that they are not the center of this world. Things will not just be given to you. You work for nearly nothing. You wait in lines for nearly everything. Sometimes it appears unfair, many times it is unfair. It is what it is. If you need help, want an education, or have a specific medical issue, it can take months for it to be addressed. Don't be passive about it, but also realize that every person here has needs and there simply is not enough resources.
6) A person must realize that daily sustenance is different than nutrition. Main line meals average 2,500 calories a day. Too many for most inmates. If you eat everything put before you, you will gain wait and likely become less healthy. The food does not taste that great either. So, give yourself some limits. Make sure  you get enough protein, which is the hardest to get enough of here. Don't sustain yourself through just commissary purchases because they are all heavy fat and calories. Make smart choices and eat until full, not until your tray is clean.
7) A person must get comfortable with the unknown. Every day something new happens or some rule changes. I used to be able to get into a separate line for my meals, since they were Kosher and I didn't need to wait in the long line to get into the meals. Now, I have to wait in the long line, until I am in the dining hall, and then I split off. A different C.O. can change how count is done for them and then another puts you in a different place for count. Just go with all the rules and changes. You gain nothing by being difficult.
8) A person must respect the staff. The staff know who the trouble makers are. When something happens, they will act differently depending on who is involved. This is no different than in the outside world with a group of kids. If a person is a trouble maker, they will be listened to less often and with more skepticism. If you are kind and respectful to the staff, especially the C.O.'s, you will be treated with some respect back. I've seen it first hand.
9) A person must be comfortable seeking out their own job under different rules. If you do not want a job in the kitchen or working the grounds as a custodian, then seek out your own employment. Start right away. Ask questions of staff about how to get hired into their department. Do what they say. I started trying to get hired into Education from my second day here. Yesterday, I got offered the job of a tutor. I start work on Tuesday. I would not have been hired, had I not taken an algebra test first and then a week later, sought staff out again to see if I passed. They did not inform me one way or the other. It wasn't until I showed up that a staff member said, "we want to hire you." It was up to me to go back, not to be waiting to hear back. These rules are different from the real world. I was told I started Tuesday - with no idea of time, etc. I had to learn the times on my own. 7:30am-1pm. These are the realities of working in this prison.
10) A person must take time for them self. So important! Find time to just lay/sit on your bed and reflect, meditate, find peace within yourself. Every minute on the compound, we have to know our surroundings and follow rules that sometimes just don't make sense. Use any skills you have to find peace within yourself, even if you can't with your surroundings. I am going to seek out from education and/or religious services a place for quiet solitude for perhaps 1 hour every day or every couple days. A place to study my education books and have real quiet. I am not sure if this is possible, but if I don't seek it out, I will never get it.

There are many more items that go toward being the "fittest," but these are a good start. If you don't want prison to totally break you of who you are or make you too rough around the edges, remember that this is only TEMPORARY. It may be months or years, but one day, you will be outside those gates again and what kind of person you want to be on the outside, can also exist within the gates.