From Dragonfly: And Then There Were 6

The roommates continue to not get along... verbal fights constantly between them. South and I just stay on our beds and look at one another... like, really?!?!? They need to fight over politics, cleaning, stories, etc. The other day, a simple conversation went into another screaming match and suddenly they were about to physically fight. I jumped off my bed and went out of the room to the hallway. South and a couple others followed suit. This was not what I wanted to watch. No actual physical fight occurred, but the two of them kept at each other so much that the staff officially moved one of the women out of our room and to another unit. Seems odd that the other one seems to be scott free of all responsibility, but it is not my job to question what happens to whom. I am simply an observer. This left us with 6 people and 1 empty top bunk. Surprisingly, the top bunk has remained empty for 2 days so far. It won't stay empty long.

I thank god every day that South was put into my room. She is the older woman who self-surrendered a week prior to me. She is educated, has manners, and is about as shell-shocked as I am for being here. We tend to go to our meals together and spend the rest of our time reading on our beds. We share cards from home and we want to buy supplies to make some of our own cards. She will be here for just a short while and I plan to visit her once I am allowed to travel (after all is said and done). I think she and Survivor will really get along.

Yesterday, South and I had a conversation with one of my roommates - a young woman who seems to be allowing herself to remain in an abusive relationship (punches have occurred). I started the conversation with just a little basic information about the "abuse cycle" and what I see occurring. I told this young woman that she deserves to think more of herself and that once a relationship becomes abusive, the cycle usually starts. She actually listened as South and I were talking. We talked about her self-esteem and that she is more than what is defined by that particular relationship. But this young woman seems to want someone who will boss her around and treat her like a kid. I am encouraging this young woman to go back to school while here and get her GED. I told her that I would help her study if she got into the class (she was in the class, but got in trouble and went to the SHU, so she has to start all over again). She's been here for 4 years - entered when she was a mere 18 years old. She will get out of here in a year or so. She has never been depended on as an adult. No one here is going to help her with that transition to real life. I see every day how the revolving door of prison becomes a reality.

South and I had to be careful while we were having that conversation - we were sure not to put down the girlfriend. Doing so could land us on the wrong side of a fist now or in the future. South is spunky and says she can fight (at 66 years of age). I am not so spunky. I'm a thinker, not a fighter. In fact, one woman from my unit was standing behind me in line for the computers today and she said she's seen me on the floor. I said that, "I'm trying to get acclimated." I proceeded to have to define the word "acclimated." I forget where I am sometimes. I want to be involved in some sort of real conversation. At least South offers me that at time. It is likely that we will both be moved out of the Bus Stop over the next week or so. Our unit counselor is coming back to work this week. He puts trouble makers in the bus stops - so newbies will be moved out. We will likely stay on 1 South because it is designated for chronic care inmates. Many people are not chronic care in the unit, but most of the chronic care folks that are able to be out of a hospital bed are in my unit. Makes for a very long pill line!

Anyway, I am just going to go with the flow on where ever I am moved. One thing I look forward to is an outside window. When I wake early (which I do nearly every day), I want to be able to see the trees, the hills, the birds, and the world beyond Carswell.