Family Picnic

Tomorrow is the annual picnic for my mothers side of the family. Growing up, it meant horseshoes, softball, volleyball, grilled hotdogs and burgers, tons of side dishes and people that I had no idea who they were or how they were related. I was pretty much the baby of the family for a very long time, so everyone knew me, loved to squeeze my cheeks (ouch!), and generally were kind for a few words before continuing their adult conversation with others. It didn't matter, though, I always loved the family picnic.

When I moved back to where I grew up, after spending over a decade away falling into all the devastation of addiction and chaos, I took on an important role. My grandma had always been a main organizer of the family picnic, (along with my aunt) but my gandma's recent onset of Alzheimer's had started to make things like organizing large events difficult and my aunt was having a difficult go with things at the time, so, as I was trying to rebuild my life while living in my parents' second bedroom, I also planned the annual Labor Day weekend family picnic. Luckily, Sporty assisted by finding some great kid activities - like a bouncy house (lots of kids now that the next generation has come along) and sports equipment. It was a success, and for the next several years, I continued to organize our family picnic.

Of course, I had to release the reigns once I left to go to school, although, I did visit and attend the picnic. Last year, I'm not sure if there was a picnic. I never really heard about one. I was in Texas, so if there was one, I didn't respond to the email invitation.

A couple weeks ago, I received an email inviting me over to a cousin's house for a more casual setting for the family picnic. It had always been at a wooded area - often on a lot of land or a forest preserve- so not sure how being in the backyard of a home in a neighborhood will go, but I'm just grateful that someone new took on the leadership and is continuing this long family tradition. My mother attended family picnics when she was a little girl. This goes way, way back.

Initially, I'd hoped to ask to go home for this weekend, and possibly attend the family picnic. Federal supervision requires a minimum of two weeks written request and I had to wait 60 days until I could request (September 1 is my 60 days... Tomorrow!) So, for two reasons, I could not request this weekend. It makes me sad that my grandma's Alzheimer's is too far advanced now for her to go to any social functions outside her assisted living community. At least my parents will be there - our side of the family will represent.

I'm not sure I would've found my niche at the family picnic. I often find that I just have so little in common with many members of my family. I suppose recent experiences may make me a bit more interesting to talk with - especially with the popularity of OITNB - but it's the one subject my mom and step-dad would get incredibly angry seeing me talking about - prison! My switch to crim justice might bring on good conversation, but once again, it could lead back to that topic my folks scowl at me for (not that I care really if they scowl at me... But just saying). So, then I just listen to everyone talk about their lives. Their houses, kids, art, cars, careers, vacations, etc and then I wonder, "I'm related to all these folks how?" 

Well, at least they don't squeeze my cheeks anymore, that has fallen on the now much younger kids. While horseshoes may not be part of every family picnic anymore, it may not be such a bad thing. One year, when I was about 9 years old, my horseshoe hit my sister's ankle and put her on crutches. She was not very happy with me.

Plus, these days, I define my family much broader than I did when I was young. I do not solely define family by blood... but I still include them as well...