When it All Fits Together

Today was a really long day. Superdog had me awake before 8am and I was trying to sleep in because I knew my day was going to do late. No luck. Since I was up anyway, I should thank Superdog, because I got in a great morning workout. Then I spent several hours reading article for classes and ensuring I would be ready for whatever was to come my way.

I had to once again stop at HR on my way onto campus. This time, they needed my I-9 form (the official federal employment homeland security form) filled out. Guess they forgot about that yesterday. They asked me to bring in my license and either my ss card or my passport - uh oh...

My passport was turned in one week prior to my sentencing (after I was allowed to travel to South Africa). My ss card and birth certificate were NEVER returned to me (after all the work Survivor, my mom, and Sporty did to get them to me in Carswell). They never made it off my counselor's desk after I saw the envelope there weeks before my leaving. As I exited the facility I asked for the documents, but it was either the docs or my freedom. I chose freedom. All that work to get the documents and I didn't need them because I happened to have a valid drivers license on file. The things no one tells you. So, my ss card and official birth certificate probably remain in a pile on that same desk. I wonder whose folder they will accidentally be put in. Perhaps someone who really is 5'2" and African American...

Anyway, luckily, before turning in my passport, I took pictures of every page that had info, visas, or stamps. I'm nostalgic like that. So, I asked if I could just bring in a photocopy of my passport.  Printed the picture of my info page and met the requirements even though I lacked the documents in hand. I have no idea what I would've done to get a document quickly in order for my hire to finally go through. Always more hoops!!

My first class today was on research methods. I feel like I've now done my schooling backwards. I was conducting research and now I'm in basic level methods courses because I'm starting at the masters level, but I'm sure I'll learn a lot and gain some new foundational understanding within the field of criminal justice. Next semester is the statistics side of all this and I'm geeked to be working in numbers and data again.

Three hours later, one class ended and I was walking into my next class on feminist criminology. I already know I'm going to really enjoy this class. Since I'm really interested in issues around women and incarceration/women and crime, etc - this class will help me with usable theory. Truth is that there's no getting around the fact that makes happen to commit more crimes and more violent crimes than women. However, there's very little research available on the experiences of women involved in the system. I have so many questions floating in my head for potential topics. For this class, my professor expects me to write my thesis proposal by December... And use it to show that I'm ready for the phd program as I apply in January for next year.

It felt great in today's courses. I felt right at home and among colleagues - especially in the feminist criminology course which is all phd students except for myself. I was allowed to engage in discourse that reminded me why I love academia and want to be a researcher and a professor. I asked appropriate questions and participated in group discussion. I felt connected and for a couple moments, I forgot that I was just in prison and that I had been kicked out of this university less than a year ago. I just felt a part of- not different.

It's really starting to click and I'm feeling good about this direction. I wish I could share all this with my friends back at Carswell. I miss so many of them and hate that communication is prohibited. They need to know that life really is possible after release... Tell your loved ones, okay? Please tell them.