Taking back my car comes with the responsibility of paying the monthly payments and picking back up the insurance - both of which will start in September. Through school, I will be able to afford to do so. When the arrangements were made for me to regain my car, we hadn't realized a hold would be put on my admission at the University. However, I truly believe I will be starting this fall and my assistantship will begin in a week. I wasn't taken this far only to not have the opportunity.
Driving my car for the first time tonight felt really great. My phone immediately synced up with the radio and it felt great on my back to be sitting up, instead of having to lean back, while driving. My folks took good care of it and it had been cleaned before it was turned back over. Only 12,000 miles on the odometer and a small ding on the door. I've got a sweet ride and I'm so grateful to have it back!
I have to admit, though, the car is more than I need. It is a 2013 model. It's a small SUV and very roomy. It has advanced technology and fun bells and whistles. It's not an automobile that someone just getting back on her feet is usually associated with. I had it before I knew I was going to prison. It was the same model as my old car, just a newer one that I traded in for. It seemed to make sense until later when it made no sense at all.
Now, though, I just will love my car. Maybe I'll finally give it a name - like I did Hope. It is a sign of my life moving forward and things coming back together. My keychain is full once again and I'm excited to have my car key back in its place.
I'm confused by how this post relates to one of the recovery steps - the one about making amends. You say that this car is "more than I need" and has "advanced technology and fun bells and whistles," and you're making payments on it. You bought it before you knew you were going to prison but after you'd been ordered to pay over $100,000 in restitution for your thefts that caused your former agency to close its doors, leaving its clients without services and employees without jobs. You also owned a scooter. I do NOT believe that you should be "punished" by never owning nice things again, but how do you square this expense with the step of making amends?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your question. As we all know, one moments best decision is not always the best decision in one's future, hindsight is 20/20. When I leased my car and traded in my old lease, it seemed like I was making the right choice and getting the best deal under the best information I had at the time. Had I known what I was about to face legally, I would have chosen a different route. However, just as I am legally obligated to pay my restitution, I am also legally obligated to pay my lease payments, and I'm grateful that I will be able to do both come September. My hope is to pay more than the monthly minimum set by my judge toward my restitution. It's an obligation I take more seriously than any other in my life. Like many I met incarcerated, the restitution amount seems unconnected to the accusations, but we lose our right to question it when we accept our plea. I hope my restitution payments go toward making strides toward righting all I did wrong. I live with that reality every day.
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